by Asma bint Shameem
If someone is mean or unfair to us, it hurts.
And we want to lash back.
But it’s not from the good manners of a believer that he curse anyone or wish him anything bad.
And that’s why the Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam told us not curse anyone and did not do so himself.
🍃He Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam said:
“It is not befitting the truthful that they curse others.”
(Muslim 2597)
🍃And Anas Ibn Maalik radhi Allaahu anhu said:
“The Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam would not abuse others, he would not use obscene words, and he would not curse others.
If he wanted to admonish anyone of us, he used to say: What is wrong with him? His forehead be dusted!”
(al-Bukhaari 5684)
So it’s best to forgive others for their bad behavior, and return their bad behavior with good.
Be patient and expect your rewards with no one but Allaah.
And if you bear patiently, you will be rewarded immensely.
🍃The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said:
“…whoever is patient Allaah will bestow patience upon him, and no one is ever given anything better and more generous than patience.” (al-Bukhaari)
Ignore their unacceptable behavior and return their rudeness with gentleness, patience and kind behavior.
🍃Allaah says:
“The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal.
Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allaah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.”
(Surah Fussilat: 34)
I know it’s easier said than done.
And in real life, that’s hard.
But then, that’s the challenge of dealing with people.
That’s where our test comes in.
🍃Allaah says:
“And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.)” (Surah al-Baqarah: 155)
So Allaah tests some people in their health, some in their wealth and some in their friends and loved ones.
So KNOW that Allaah is testing you with such mean people.
Deal with them with wisdom and kindness even if they're rude or mean.
🍃Ibn al-Qayyim said:
"Forgiveness is more beloved to Allaah than revenge, mercy is more beloved to Him than punishment, grace is more beloved to Him than justice, and giving is more beloved to Him than withholding." (Madarij al-Salikeen)
And if there’s no way you can forgive them, it’s permissible to make duaa to Allaah and ask for justice.
However, DO keep in mind that sometimes what seems ‘unfair’ to us, might not really be unfair at all in reality.
What seems injustice from our point of view, could be absolutely ’just’ from the other party’s point of view.
You see there are always two sides to the story.
And misunderstandings happen among friends and relatives so we shouldn’t jump to curse them or wish them bad, just because we didn’t see eye to eye.
📌Another point to remember is that we must be very careful before we make duaa against someone.
🍃The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said:
“Verily, when a servant curses something, the curse rises to the heaven and the gates of heaven close upon it.
It turns right and left and if it does not find a place to go, it will return to that which was cursed only if it deserved to be curse; otherwise the curse will return upon the one who made it.”
(Abu Dawood- Hasan by al-Albaani )
Cursing someone is such a bad trait that the intercession of those who curse a lot will not be accepted.
🍃The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said:
“Those who indulge in curses will not be intercessors or witnesses on the Day of Resurrection.”
(Muslim 2595)
🍃And Ali ibn Abi Talib radhi Allaahu anhu said:
“Those who curse others are themselves cursed.” (Al-Adab Al-Mufrad- hasan)
So instead of wishing bad things for a person, it’s best to be patient and forbearing and forgiving.
And make duaa FOR them instead of AGAINST them.
After all, didn’t the Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam say:
“None of you will have faith until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”
(al-Bukhaari 13, Muslim 45)
🍃 Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said:
al-La’n (Curse: اللعن) means: “expelling and driving away from the Mercy of Allaah.”
So when a person says: “O Allaah! Curse so-and-so”, it is meant by it that Allaah Ta’aala drives away and expels someone from His mercy; and Allaah’s refuge is sought.
Cursing a particular/specific person is from the major sins; meaning:
It is not permissible to curse a particular person by saying: “O Allaah! Curse so-and-so”, or saying: “Allaah’s curse be on you” or something similar, even if he is a kaafir and he is alive, it is not permissible for you to curse him.
This is because the Prophet Sal Allaahu Alayhi wa Sallam
due to what took place, said: “O Allaah! Curse so-and-so, O Allaah! Curse so-and-so” i.e. he Sal Allaahu Alayhi wa Sallam
was naming individuals, so Allaah said:
“Not for you (O Muhammad ﷺ ) is the decision (it is for Allaah Alone); whether He turns in mercy to (pardons) them or punishes them; verily, they are the Zalimoon (polytheists, disobedients, and wrong-doers, etc.)”
(Saheeh al-Bukhaari 4069, 4559, 4560, 7346)
And there are among men, who would curse a particular person, especially if he was a kaafir, and this is not permissible.
You do not know that Allaah might guide him, and how many people were staunch enemies of the Muslims and Islaam and then Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala guided and they became one of the best believing slaves of Allaah.
And the Shaikh also said:
But it is permissible to say: “O Allaah! Curse the oppressors”, making it a general (statement) and not specifying a particular person – so this would include the oppressors as a whole.
Moreover, it is affirmed on the authority of the Prophet Sal Allaahu Alayhi wa Sallam that he cursed the Waasilah and the Mutawassilah (those women who create artificial space between the teeth of others to look beautiful and those who get it done on themselves) – this is for the women.
So specifying a person and cursing him particularly is Haraam and not allowed, but as a general, then it is allowed.”
(Sharh Riyaadh al-Saaliheen 6/191-192)
And Allaah knows best
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