by Asma bint Shameem
Backbiting is a very serious MAJOR SIN that we unfortunately indulge in almost every day, but don’t think much of.
It’s a very grave act that’s despised in the eyes of Allaah.
And there are severe warnings in the Sharee’ah against backbiting.
🍃Allaah says:
“O you who believe! Avoid much suspicions, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting).
And fear Allaah. Verily, Allaah is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful.” (Al-Hujurat 49:12)
Astaghfirullaah!
Can we even imagine ever eating the flesh of our dead brother?!
Well, the sin of backbiting is just as repulsive and disgusting!
🍃And the Prophet ﷺ said:
“When i was taken up (into heaven), I passed by some people who had nails of copper, with which they were scratching their faces and chests.
I said: 'Who are these people, O Jibreel?'
He said, 'They are the ones who consumed the people's flesh and impugned their honor.'"
(Saheeh al-Bukhaari)
How scary is that!
🍃Amr ibn al-‘Aas Radhi Allaahu anhu was once walking with a group of his friends, when he passed by the bloated, rotting carcass of mule.
He said:
“By Allaah! To eat your fill from this carcass is better than eating the flesh of a Muslim (by backbiting him).”
(al-Bukhaari in al-Adab Al-Mufrad; saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Adab Al-Mufrad p266)
When we backbite someone, our good deeds are transferred to him and his bad deeds may be transferred to us.
One of the scariest ahadeeth is about a person who backbit people in this dunya.
🍃 The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said:
“Whoever has wronged his brother with regard to his honor or something, let him ask him for forgiveness before the time when there will be neither dinar nor dirham, and if he has any good deeds it will be taken from him in proportion to the wrong he did, and if he does not have any good deeds (hasanaat), some of the other person's evil deeds (sayi’aat) will be taken and given to him to bear.” (al-Bukhaari)
🍃 And he Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam said:
“The one who is bankrupt among my ummah is the one who will come on the Day of Resurrection with prayer, fasting and zakaah to his credit, but he will come having slandered one person and shed the blood of another and wrongfully consumed the wealth of a third, so (his victims) will be given some of his hasanaat (good deeds), and if his hasanaat run out before the score is settled, some of their sins will be taken and thrown onto him, and he will be thrown into Hell.” (Muslim)
🍃And Al-ʿAbbās ibn al-Waleed said:
“My father said, ‘I heard al-ʾAwzaa’i saying:
“It has reached me that on the Day of Resurrection it will be said to a servant, ‘Stand up and take your due right from so and so.’
So he will reply saying, ‘[But] I’m not owed any rights from him.’
So it will be said, ‘But you are.
He mentioned you on such and such a day saying this and this.” (Shuʿab al-Imaan, p. 98)
🔺So what is Gheebah exactly?
🍃The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Do you know what backbiting is?” They said:
“Allaah and His Messenger know best.”
He said: “When you say about your brother something that he dislikes.” They said:
“What if what I say about my brother is true?”
He said:
“If it is true then you have backbitten about him and if it is not true then you have told a grave lie about him.”
(Saheeh Muslim 2589).
So Gheebah is ANYTHING that you say or do behind your Muslim brother or sister’s back in a manner that they don’t like.
It could be ANYTHING about them, something they said or they do or even mimicking their actions or voice or accent.
ANYTHING to do with them is included in gheebah IF you mention it and they don’t like it to be mentioned.
And even if you didn’t initiate it but you’re participating in the conversation or encouraging it in any way or not putting a stop to it, at least in your heart, then that also counts as gheebah.
Even you nodding your head or giving expressions of “surprise”, “shock”, “I-can’t-believe-he-would-say-that look” counts as GHEEBAH.
🔺Exceptions when it is not counted as backbiting
However, if talking about this person behind his back serves a purpose
Or it would be beneficial in some way,
Or it’s sincere advice to the concerned party so that they can fix the problem.
Or if you’re warning others of his sin to ward off his harm,
then it would be allowed to do so in certain specific situations.
The bottom line is that we must fear Allaah and be sincere in all situations.
🍃 The scholars of the Standing Committee said:
“Criticism is not gheebah in six cases:
complaining about mistreatment, identifying a person, warning about a person, highlighting evildoing, seeking a fatwa/verdict, and seeking help to remove an evil.
But if there is no obvious interest to be served by mentioning him in a way that he dislikes, then it comes under the heading of gheebah which is haraam.”
[Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah 26/19]
🔺 What to do if you did gheebah about someone
1. Make taubah and ask Allaah's forgiveness.
2. Ask the person for forgiveness if that person heard that you were making gheebah of him or if asking for forgiveness will not create more problems.
3. If the person didn't hear about it or telling him will create more problems then pray for him and ask Allaah for his forgiveness and wellbeing and all that you will ask for yourself.
4. Praise him in the same gathering as the one in which you were backbiting him.
🔺 How to stay away from Backbiting?
1. Remember the aayah about gheebah and the resemblance of eating the flesh of your dead brother.
2. Remember the punishments, the copper nails, people being thrown in hell fire, and losing all your hard earned good deeds.
4. Every time you back bite, write down why you did it.
when you did it?
where?
and with whom?
This way you will be more cautious if faced with a similar situation and you can catch yourself from falling into the same trap and thus prevent yourself from backbiting again.
5. Put a jar on the counter and put $1/- every time you backbite.
This way you will know how many times you have done gheebah in a day so you can make taubah.
This will also make you careful and you’ll be able to control your tongue before you commit this sin In Shaa’ Allaah.
Some of the salaf would fast or give charity every time they committed a sin.
Basically do whatever it takes to stop you from backbiting, whatever's going to affect YOU.
6.Last but not the least, make lots of continuous and sincere duaa to Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala to help you control your tongue and enable you to not backbite anyone.
May Allaah help us control our tongues and protect us from this evil sin of Gheebah.
And Allaah knows best.
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