by Asma bint Shameem
NO act of worship is fardh on kids UNTIL they reach puberty.
🍃The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said:
“The pen is lifted from three people: a sleeping person until he awakens, a child until he becomes an adult, and an insane person until he regains his sanity.”
In another narration, the Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam said,
“A young boy until he reaches puberty.”
(al-Tirmidhī- saheeh by al-Albaani)
But we should prepare them so that they get USED to praying and fasting and develop a habit and LOVE for these acts of ibaadah.
That’s why the Prophet ﷺ encouraged us to make them pray from the age of seven.
🍃The Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam said:
“Teach your children to pray when they are seven years old, and smack them (lightly) if they do not pray when they are 10 years old, and separate them in their beds.”
(Abu Dawood -saheeh by
al-Albaani)
🍃Shaikh Ibn Uthaymeen said regarding this hadeeth:
“The Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam commanded us to tell our children to pray when they are seven years old, and to smack them (lightly) if they do not pray when they are ten years old, even though they are not obliged to do that yet, so that they may be “trained” in doing acts of worship and obedience and may get used to them, so that it will be easy for them to do that after they grow up and it will be dear to them.”
(Fataawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb, 11/386)
🍃 Al-Rubay’ bint Mu’awwidh
radhi Allaahu anhaa said while describing how the Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam told them to fast Aashooraa’:
“We used to make toys out of dyed wool for the children and keep them with us so if the children asked us for food we would give them the toys to distract them until they completed their fast.”
(Saheeh Muslim)
🍃 Imaam Al-Nawawi said:
“In this narration we are shown that children should be trained to do acts of obedience and made used to doing worship; although they are not legally bound.”
(Sharh’ Saheeh Muslim)
Some of the ways to train our children are:
🔹1. Start early
🍃 The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said:
“Teach your children to pray when they are seven years old, and smack them (lightly) if they do not pray when they are 10 years old, and separate them in their beds.”
(Abu Dawod and Ahmad - saheeh by al-Albaani)
🔹2. Be their role model
Kids will watch us and learn from our ACTIONS much faster than any ‘lecture’ or ‘talk’.
So whenever you’re about to pray, encourage them with love to pray with you.
And say it very positively like it’s a fun thing to do.
They can just pray the fardh.
🔹3. Make wudhu fun
When you make wudhu, take them by the hand and the two of you can make wudhu together.
Every time you go to make wudhu,
“RACE” to the bathroom to see who gets there first.
Make it into like a GAME, a time to PLAY between him and you.
🔹4. Special clothes
Also buy her special clothes for Salaah like a small abayah and scarf
Or one of those special “prayer clothes”- the Egyptian or Indonesian clothes that you wear for Salaah.
It’s kind of like a skirt and hijaab that you pull over whatever you’re wearing.
And for boys, buy him a nice prayer “cap” but don’t just bring him one.
Rather, ask HIM to choose the one he wants for his prayers.
(Side note: caps are not really “necessary” for the salaah to be valid)
🔹5. Make them in charge
Ask them to ‘tell’ you when it’s time for the next Salaah.
So when they hear the adhaan, they will rush to you to inform you.
And if you live in a non Muslim country where no adhaan is given live, you can have the adhaan play automatically on your laptop or phone (and ‘pretend’ you didn’t hear) :)
🔹6. Salaah log
Also have a Salaah log that they tick off for each daily prayer.
Then at the end of the week, if they do all of them, they get a treat or sticker or something special.
🔹7. Read books together
Also read some good kids books on Salaah and Saum with him/her, while cuddling together on the sofa or in their bed.
🔹8. The Role Models
Read stories of Prophets and Sahaabah and their bravery, their love for this Deen, their sacrifices and efforts etc., instead of fairly tales and fiction.
🔹9. Pray in Jama’ah
Pray together as a family in Jama’ah. Wait for them to join you even if you have to delay your prayer a bit because of them.
🔹10. Adhaan
Make your son the “mu'adhdhin” of the home.
Tell him “he’s” in charge of the adhaan at home every day.
And how proud you are of him for doing that.
This will give them a sense of responsibility and confidence.
🔹11. Iqaamah
Give your child the responsibility to give the iqaamah every time your family is praying in Jama’ah.
🔹12. Imaam
And if he’s old enough to understand and lead you, make him the Imaam.
But if he’s too young to lead you, he can at least be the Imaam for his siblings.
🔹13. Masjid
Take them to the masjid regularly from time to time such as Jumu’ah or Maghrib or on weekends etc
🔹14. Community
Involve them in masjid activities for kids, and take them to the community picnics and get togethers.
🔹15. Friends
Make friends with practicing Muslims who also have kids about the age of your kids so that you get together with “like-minded” people.
When the kids get together, let them have their own “Jama’ah” with one of them leading the others.
🔹16. Your Ultimate Goal
Your goal should be to instill the LOVE of Allaah and the love of the Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam in their hearts.
Once he/she starts loving them and associating all good with following them, they will also eagerly pray and fast.
FASTING
🔹17. Multiple mini “fasts”
As for fasting, if your kids are too young to fast the whole day, you can encourage them to fast three “fasts” in a day.
Or “two” if they can handle it.
Start with breakfast then they should ‘fast’ till HALF the day, not eating or drinking anything until then.
Then they ‘break’ their fast at lunch time and start ‘re-fasting’ till Maghrib, when they break their fast with you.
🔹18.Reward and Praise
Reward them and praise their efforts in front of their father and other family members and relatives and friends.
🔹20. Chores
Give them small chores like asking them to help set the table for iftaar, passing the dates out to everyone, or help clean up afterwards etc.
🔹21. Special gifts
Bring them a special gift on Eid, Ramadhaan and other occasions from time to time because they fasted and prayed.
🔹22. Snuggle time
Lay down with them every night for a few minutes when you’re tucking them in for the night.
Hug them and kiss them as you lay in bed.
And tell your kids how proud you’re of them for praying and fasting because they’re OBEYING Allaah.
🔹23. Play time
Invite other kids their age to spend a few hours at your house on the weekend and they can all ‘fast’ and pray together.
🔹24. Duaa
A parents duaa is never rejected.
So make LOTS of duaa for them.
🔹25. Gentleness
And remember, teaching them to pray and fast should be done GENTLY and LOVINGLY.
🍃 The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said:
“You must be gentle. Verily, gentleness is not in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it makes it ugly.”
(Ahmad-saheeh by al-Albaani)
🍃 And he Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam said:
“O Aaishah, Allaah is kind and He loves kindness in all matters.” (al-Bukhaari)
Shouting at them or getting angry will cause resentment within them and they will not love the prayer or fast.
They might pray because of ‘you’ but the moment they get a chance, they will skip prayer.
We have to teach them to pray because it’s “Allaah’s” Orders.
And Allaah is watching them, wherever they may be.
These are only some of the things you can do to encourage your kids to pray and fast.
I’m sure there are more.
And Allaah knows best
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