by Asma bint Shameem
Alhamdulillaah there are many guidelines from the Qur’aan and authentic Sunnah that show us how to stay away from the opposite gender and avoid falling into haraam.
🍃 Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala says in Surah al-Israa:
“Don’t come NEAR zina.”
Here Allaah didn’t say “Don’t COMMIT zina” although that’s the whole purpose.
But Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala want to keep us pure and free of filth and corruption so He ordered that we don’t even come CLOSE to anything filthy like fornication.
Obviously there are situations where we still have to deal with the opposite gender but our Deen teaches us that there are things we can do to avoid falling into haraam.
Some of them are:
🔺1. Wear Hijaab.
Wearing hijaab will eliminate the temptation that’s associated with looking at women because the woman would be covered and there would be really nothing to “see”.
If she’s simply dressed without any makeup or beautifying herself, then it’s much less likely that temptation will appear as compared to someone who’s dressed up with makeup, jewelry, and hair done in the most attractive way.
Allaah tells us in Surah an-Noor and Ahzaab, to cover ourselves if we’re believing women.
🍃 Allaah says:
“And say to the believing women to lower their gazes, and to guard their private parts, and not to display their beauty (zeenah) except what is apparent of it, and to extend their headcoverings (khimars) to cover their bosoms (jaybs), and not to display their beauty except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their womenfolk, or what their right hands rule (slaves), or the followers from the men who do not feel sexual desire, or the small children to whom the nakedness of women is not apparent, and not to strike their feet (on the ground) so as to make known what they hide of their adornments.
And turn in repentance to Allah together, O you believers, in order that you are successful.” (Surah an-Noor: 31).
🔺2. Wear an abaayah or long loose clothes.
When going out or dealing with non mahrams, a woman must not only cover her hair, but she must also completely cover her body.
🍃Shaikh al-Albaani outlines the conditions of Hijaab.
He said:
a. It should cover all the head and body, apart from whatever has been exempted (meaning face and hands).
b. It should not be an adornment in and of itself.
c. The material should be thick and not transparent or "see-through"
d. It should be loose, not tight so that it describes any part of the body
e. It should not be perfumed with fragrance.
f. It should not resemble the clothing of men.
g. It should not resemble the dress of non-Muslim women.
h. It should not be a garment of fame and vanity.
🔺3. Lower the gaze.
🍃Allaah says:
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)”
(Surah an-Noor :30)
🍃And He says the same to the women as well.
“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.)(Surah an-Noor:31)
🔺4. Walk quietly without drawing attention to yourself.
🍃Allaah says:
“And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful.” (Surah an-Noor:31)
🔺5. Do not talk unnecessarily to the opposite genders and do not make the voice soft or flirtatious.
🍃Allaah says to the Mothers of the Believers:
“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner”
(Surah al-Ahzaab :32)
Although the Aayah is addressing the wives of the Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam, it is all the more applicable to us.
Imagine how pious the wives of the Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam were.
There’s no one amongst us more pious than them.
Yet if Allaah is telling THEM, the pious of the pious, to not talk softly then what about me and you?!
🔺6. No “Khulwah”
We shouldn’t be alone with a person who’s not mahram to us.
🍃The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said:
“No man should be alone with a woman unless there is a mahram with them.”
(al-Bukhaari and Muslim)
🍃And he said:
“No man is alone with a woman but the Shaytaan is the third one present.”
(al-Tirmidhi - saheeh by al-Albaani)
🔺7. There should be NO physical contact between the two genders that are not mahram.
🍃The Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam said:
“For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than touching a woman who is not permissible for him.”
(at-Tabaraani - saheeh by al-Albaani)
In the end, never forget the words of Umar ibn al-Khattaab Radhi Allaahu anhu.
🍃 He said
“The foulest of women is the Salfa’.”
Salfa’ is the immodest woman who mixes with men and is not shy from them.
(Ibn Abi Shaybah 32,503)
And Allaah knows best
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