by Asma bint Shameem
ANSWER
Women should AVOID touching or kissing the Black Stone.
That’s BETTER for them and MORE REWARDING.
🔺OBJECTION!
“How can you say that, when it is Sunnah to kiss the Black Stone and a part of the rituals of Hajj and Umrah?!”
I can say so based on our Deen as well as my personal experience every year.
In trying to touch the Black Stone, I see the sisters get pushed and shoved (unintentionally) by men all around, totally squished in between them, some have their hijaab half way or even totally off of their heads!
Some have difficulty breathing, some get hurt, some fall and some even collapse because of the congestion and heat.
Trying to get in that Hajj or umrah crowd to kiss the Black Stone is next to IMPOSSIBLE for a woman without experiencing all of the above.
Think about it my sisters...
Touching the Black Stone is a beautiful Sunnah.
But it is a SUNNAH.
And protecting yourself and your body from coming in contact with all the nonmahram men is a FARDH.
So my sisters have to be CAREFUL of crowding with men in ALL the rituals of Hajj, especially during tawaaf and at the Black Stone, during Sa’ee and when stoning the Jamaraat.
Even if you choose times when there is less crowding, it’s still next to impossible to come even CLOSE to the Black Stone without bumping into men, being pushed and shoved or touching them in some way or the other.
Our Mother Aaishah radhi Allaahu anhaa used to do tawaaf in an area AWAY from the men, and she did NOT touch the Black Stone or the Yemeni Corner if there was crowding.
🍃Ata’ said:
"Aaishah radhi Allaahu anhaa used to do tawaaf far AWAY from the men, not mixing with them.”
A woman said: “O Mother of the Believers, let us go and touch the Black Stone!”
She said: “Go yourself,” and she refused to go."
🔺 So What to do?
All we need to do is to POINT to the Black Stone from FAR, every time we pass by it during our Tawaaf.
That’s what our Mothers and other righteous women did when there was crowding at the Black Stone.
Besides, POINTING to the Black Stone is ALSO Sunnah.
🍃Ibn ‘Abbaas radhi Allaahu anhu said:
“The Messenger of Allaah ﷺ performed Tawaaf on his camel, and every time he came to the corner [where the Stone is] he would POINT to it and say “Allaahu akbar.” (al-Bukhaari)
🍃 Shaikh Ibn Uthaymeen said:
“Some people think that tawaaf is not valid unless one kisses the Black Stone, and that kissing the Black Stone is one of the conditions of tawaaf being valid, and of Hajj and ‘Umrah being valid too.
This is a mistaken notion.
Kissing the Black Stone is Sunnah, and it is NOT an independent Sunnah either, rather it is Sunnah for the one who is doing tawaaf.
I do not know that kissing the Black Stone is Sunnah except in tawaaf.
Based on this, since kissing the Black Stone is Sunnah and is not obligatory and is not a condition of Tawaaf, then if a person does not kiss it, we do not say that his tawaaf is invalid or that his tawaaf is lacking and he is sinning.
Rather his tawaaf is valid and if there is a lot of crowding then pointing is better than touching, because this is what the Messenger ﷺ did when the place was crowded, and because by doing this a person avoids harm that he may do to others or that others may do to him.
If someone were to ask us: If the Mataaf (place of tawaaf) is very crowded, what do you think – is it better to push in and touch and kiss the Black Stone, or to point to it?
We say that it is better to POINT to it, because that is the Sunnah. That was narrated from the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ and the best guidance is the guidance of Muhammad ﷺ.”
(Daleel Al-Akhta’ Allati Yaqa’ Fiha Al-Haaj Wa’l-Mu’tamir)
🍃 And the scholars of the Standing Committee said:
“Kissing the Black Stone during tawaaf is Sunnah mu’akkadah (a confirmed Sunnah), it is one of the Sunnahs of tawaaf if it is possible to do that WITHOUT crowding or DISTURBING anyone by your actions, following the example of the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ in that.
If it can only be done by crowding and disturbing others, then it should NOT be done.
In that case it is sufficient to POINT to it with one's hand, ESPECIALLY for WOMEN, because the woman is ‘awrah and because crowding is not prescribed for men, so that applies even more so to women.”
(Fataawa Al-Lajnah Al-Daa’imah, 11/229)
🔺 OBJECTION !
But I LOVE to kiss the Black Stone!
Yes it’s understandable that you want to kiss the Black Stone following the practice of the Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam. And you love to do it.
But dear sister, isn’t obeying Allaah more important than doing what ‘WE’ love?
Allaah our Master has ORDERED us women to stay away from the men.
If we DISREGARD that order and do what our hearts desire, we’re actually SINFUL.
Imagine the gravity of disobeying Allaah in His very House!
Also, if you give something up for the sake of Allaah, He will reward you AS IF you did that action.
Besides, remember that Black Stone is ‘just a stone’.
And we ONLY kiss the Stone because that’s what the Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam did. And NOT for the Stone itself.
🍃 That’s why Umar radhi Allaahu anhu would say:
“I know that you are just a stone, you do not cause benefit or harm; and if it were not that I had seen Allaah’s Messenger Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam kiss you, I would NEVER have kissed you.” (al-Bukhaari)
🔺So where to do Tawaaf?
In my opinion, the best place for us women to do tawaaf is UP on the ROOFTOP or second floor of the Masjid.
Now it may seem like a big distance from far, but I promise you, all it takes is an hour and 10 minutes, TOTAL, to be precise, to complete the seven rounds of a tawaaf, walking at an average pace.
I’ve personally timed it again and again.
An hour and ten minutes?
The Shaytaan might play with your mind and make it seem like a lot.
But then ask yourself this...
Don't we EASILY walk an hour ten minutes in the MALL?
Well then.....?
And you know what?
It takes the same amount of time to do tawaaf downstairs as well.
That’s because of the tremendous amount of people, you are moving at a much SLOWER pace downstairs (actually, barely moving) and it just takes longer to go around the Ka’bah because of all that crowd.
As compared to that, it's much easier and sooo much better on the rooftop.
You are moving at a faster pace, it is much cooler up there and you can make a lot of duaa and have much more KHUSHOO' and concentration in your duaa because you will not be worried about bumping into other strange men.
And having Khushoo is the MAIN GOAL of our ibaadah, isn’t it?
So my advice to my sisters:
Do NOT go to touch or kiss the Black Stone.
Don’t even try.
If you give something up for the sake of Allaah, you will get the reward of not only kissing the Black Stone, but ALSO the reward of OBEYING Allaah’s Command of protecting yourself from strange men.
That’s TWO REWARDS Alhamdulillaah!
Subhaan Allaah how Merciful Allaah is!
And Allaah knows best