by Asma bint Shameem
BOTH men and women are expected to be chaste and modest and avoid any kind of behavior that may invite temptation.
BOTH are instructed to look only at what is lawful for them to see and to guard their chastity.
Allaah commands the men first and then the women in the Qur’aan, to lower their gaze.
🍃Allaah says:
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their chastity. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allaah is acquainted with what they do.
And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their chastity and not display their beauty except what [must ordinarily] appear thereof; and to wrap part of their head covers over their chests and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons.”
al-Noor 24:31]
🍃Imaam Ibn Katheer said:
“This is a command from Allaah to His believing slaves to lower their gaze and refrain from looking at that which is forbidden to them.
So they should not look at anything except that which they are permitted to look at, and they should lower their gaze and refrain from looking at forbidden things.
If it so happens that a person’s gaze accidentally falls upon something forbidden, he should quickly avert his gaze.”
(Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 3/282)
🍃Jareer ibn ‘Abd-Allaah Radhi Allaahu anhu said:
“I asked the Messenger of Allaah Sal Allaahu Alayhi wa Sallam about a sudden glance, and he commanded me to avert my gaze.”
(Saheeh Muslim, 2159)
🍃Imaam al-Nawawi said:
“What is meant by a “sudden glance” is when a person’s glance unintentionally falls upon a non-mahram woman. There is no sin on him for the first glance, but he must avert his gaze immediately.
If he averts his gaze immediately there is no sin on him, but if he continues looking, then he will be a sinner, because of this hadeeth, for the Prophet Sal Allaahu Alayhi wa Sallam commanded him to avert his gaze, and Allaah says:
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things)”
[al-Noor 24:30]
Men must lower their gaze and refrain from looking at them in all circumstances, unless that is for a valid shar’i reason, such as giving testimony, medical treatment, wanting to propose marriage, buying a slave woman, engaging in financial transactions such as buying and selling, etc. In all these cases it is permissible to look as much as is needed, and no more.”
(Sharh Muslim, 14/139)
🔺How to lower your gaze:
1. Know and believe with certainty that Allaah is watching us.
He sees us and is with us (by His knowledge) wherever we go.
Nothing escapes Him.
It is recorded in our book of deeds.
And we will have to answer to Allaah for each and every word and deed even if no one knew about it.
🍃Allaah says:
“Allaah knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the hearts conceal”
[Ghaafir 40:19]
🍃And Allaah says:
“But verily, over you (are appointed angels in charge of mankind) to watch you,
Kiraaman (Honourable) Kaatibeen —writing down (your deeds),
They know all that you do”
[al-Infitaar 82:10-12]
2. Make duaa to Allaah and ASK him to help you lower the gaze and not look at anything that’s forbidden.
If you’re sincere in your duaa, He will definitely help you.
3. Know that your eyes are one of the biggest blessings of Allaah upon you.
And part of thanking Allaah for those blessings is to use these eyes and other faculties in His obedience and keep them away from all that’s forbidden.
🍃 Ibn al-Qayyim said:
“Gratitude should be:
in the heart, in submission and humility;
on the tongue, in praise and acknowledgement;
and in the physical faculties, by means of obedience and submission.”
(Madaarij al-Saalikeen (2/246)
4. Work hard in controlling your gaze and keep training yourself until you master it.
🍃 The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Whoever seeks to be chaste, Allaah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks to be independent of means, Allaah will make him independent of means, and whoever strives to be patient, Allaah will make him patient…”
(al-Bukhaari, 1400)
5. Don’t go to places where you know inappropriately dressed women will be present like the mall or the beach or weddings or other places unless it’s necessary.
🍃 The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Beware of sitting in the street.”
They said, “We have no alternative; that is where we sit and talk.”
He said, “If you insist on sitting there, then give the street its rights.”
They said, “What are the rights of the street?”
He said, “Lowering the gaze and refraining from causing offence…”
(al-Bukhaari 2333, Muslim 2121).
6. Keep yourself busy with good deeds, dhikr and ibaadaat. And pay special attention to the five daily prayers.
🍃 Allaah says:
“Verily, As‑Salaah (the prayer) prevents from Al‑Fahshaa’ (i.e. great sins of every kind, unlawful sexual intercourse) and Al‑Munkar (i.e. disbelief, polytheism, and every kind of evil wicked deed)”
[al-‘Ankaboot 29:45]
🍃 And Allaah said:
“… and My slave continues to draw close to Me with supererogatory (naafil) works so that I shall love him.
And when I love him, I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks.
Were he to ask (something) of Me, I would surely give it to him, and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it.”
(al-Bukhaari, 6137
7. Keep good company.
Your righteous friends will help you to obey Allaah.
🍃 The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said:
“A man is upon the ways of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.”
(Abu Dawood - hasan by al-Albaani)
And that’s why the Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam warned us from making friends with those that are not religious or righteous.
🍃 He Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam said:
“Do not keep company with anyone but a believer and do not let anyone eat your food but one who is pious.”
(al-Tirmidhi, 2395; Abu Dawood, 4832; hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 2519)
8. Get married and fast frequently.
🍃 The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Whoever can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and in guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.”
(al-Bukhaari 1806, Muslim 1400).
And there are other ways.
And Allaah knows best.
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