by Asma bint Shameem
ANSWER
Let’s see what our Deen says about this matter:
🍃 The Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam said:
“For one of you to be STABBED in the head with an iron needle is BETTER for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.”
(al-Tabaraani -- Saheeh by al-Albaani)
🍃And he Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam said:
“I do not shake hands with women.” (al-Nasaa’i and Ibn Maajah--saheeh by al-Albaani)
Subhaan Allaah!
If the Best of the best, the pious of the pious, our beloved Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam didn't even TOUCH the hands of the opposite gender so what about me and you?
🔺 1. What if I'm not doing it out of desire?
Even if there's no 'desire' involved, it's not right to do so.
📌PROOF:
🍃Our Mother Aaishah radhi Allaahu anhaa said about the Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam:
"No, by Allaah, the hand of the Messenger of Allaah Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam never touched the hand of any woman, rather they would give their oath of allegiance with words only.” (Muslim)
Who could be more pious and righteous than the Prophet
Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam?
Yet, he Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam chose NOT to shake hands with
non-related women.
So it's NOT about having 'desire'.
Islaam came to eradicate any and all MEANS that might lead to sin and disobedience.
And avoiding shaking hands is part of that prevention.
🔺 2. BUT it will embarrass the other person and me as well!
Before shaking the other person's hand, THINK about this:
What's more important?
The embarrassment of a human being or the Displeasure of Allaah?!
By shaking their hand we're disobeying Allaah and doing an act that displeases Him.
So it's best to avoid shaking hands or even touching in ANY way, for that matter, anyone who's not your mahram.
SO WHAT TO DO❓
Don't take this lightly.
It's not 'just a handshake'....
It's the DISOBEDIENCE of Allaah!
So when we meet someone from the opposite gender, or 'expecting' to meet them, we should do the following:
🔺1. Don't be caught 'OFF GUARD':
Be prepared that they're going to want to shake your hand. This way you're not taken by surprise when they extend their hand.
So keep your hands occupied by 'doing' something or “holding” something.
🔺2. MENTAL PREPARATION:
Be ready with what you're going to SAY.
Rehearse the lines in your head so that you’re ready and you’ll say exactly the right thing at the right time, instead of fumbling for words at that time or giving incoherent explanations.
🔺3. SIMPLY DECLINE:
As they extend their hand, simply decline POLITELY and NICELY and say something along the following lines:
"It's part of my religion not to shake hands with anyone from the opposite gender if they’re not related to me.
It's nothing personal but it's a religious principle.
Thank you for understanding.
🔺4. Then immediately change the subject and move on to whatever it was, that you were there for.
No need to dwell on the subject.
This will help dispel any 'awkwardness’ or ‘embarrassment' if there was any.
🔺There's NO NEED to make silly excuses like you can't shake hands because you have the flu, or that you're hands are sweaty/dirty, etc.
🔺There's NO NEED to be apologetic, or embarrassed or ashamed.
Be PROUD of your religion.
Remember you're OBEYING your Creator.
Be CONFIDENT that you're doing the right thing.
And you know what, it's not as 'awkward' as we make it to be.
A lot of people are actually quite understanding and appreciate our
commitment and sincerity to the principles of our Deen.
And if we do this on a consistent basis, this will help spread awareness that Muslims don't shake hands or touch the opposite gender in any way.
🍃 Someone asked Shaikh Moosaa Richardson:
“I have learned that touching non mahram women is not allowed.
So how can I explain this to my coworkers in a respectful way without coming across as hypocritical because of my behavior in the past?”
The Shaykh said:
“While you avoid occasions of intermingling between men and women to the best of your ability on an ongoing basis, say something like this whenever appropriate:
“Due to my religion of modesty, I respect ladies and cannot shake hands with them.
Thank you for understanding and supporting my religious preference and freedom.”
There is no need to explain any errors made in the past.
If someone asks you about that, just say humbly:
“That was an error on my part.”
But essentially, part of religious freedom is your right to begin practicing what you understand to be your religious path at any time, despite whatever you used to do.
Remember, these are the people who give each other the “right” to dress or behave as the opposite gender whenever they want, without asking about why they did not do that in previous days!”
May Allaah give us strength of Imaan and give us the taufeeq to do things that please Him. Ameen.
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